ROSES ARE RED, SOME FLAGS ARE REDDER: SIGNS YOUR JOB MIGHT BE TOXIC

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we thought it was only right to talk about a very real relationship in your life that may often get overlooked... the one with your job. And more importantly, the signs it may have crossed the line from “challenging but rewarding” to a “toxic workingship.”  

1. It’s Always Promising to Change (But Never Does) 

You have heard it all before: 

• “Things will settle down after this project.” 

• “Next quarter will be quieter.” 

• “Once we hire another person, it will get better.” 

Your manager keeps dangling hope just far enough away to keep you invested, while changing absolutely nothing. Maybe the promised promotion keeps getting delayed, or the workload doubles after every team member leaves. 

2. Your Work-Life Balance Is… non-existent 

You are often answering emails at 9pm, checking notifications constantly, and even thinking about work during down time. Plans with friends and family get cancelled or postponed because “it’ll just be easier if I log on.” A healthy job respects boundaries and personal time; a toxic one treats you like you’re on call 24/7.   

3. Lack of Support and Resources 

Some environments often leave employees without the tools, training, or guidance needed to succeed, creating chronic stress, frustration, and a constant sense of being set up to fail.  

In these roles, unachievable targets, unrealistic workloads, and missing resources become the norm. For example, being expected to manage multiple projects or major client accounts without adequate software, staffing, administrative support, or mentoring. When deadlines and quality are under threat, it’s not a performance issue; it’s a lack of a support system to set you up for success.  

4. You are Drowning in Gossip and Office Politics 

Gossip and politics exist in almost every workplace, but when they dominate your day and affect decisions, it becomes a problem. Signs include overhearing frequent rumours, promotions and recognition based on favouritism rather than merit, and team interactions revolving more around social alliances than actual work. 

For example, you hesitate to share ideas in meetings because you fear they will be twisted or criticised, and you notice promotions consistently go to those with closer personal ties to management vs the individuals clear and measured performance.  

5. Poor Leadership and Management 

When leaders rely on intimidation, threats, or unfair criticism rather than constructive guidance, it creates a hostile environment. Poor leadership undermines confidence. Managers who regularly micromanage every detail make employees fearful to take initiative or voice concerns and erode confidence instead of empowering them.  

6. You Have Stopped Talking About It 

Friends and family notice your mood shifts whenever work comes up. Remember when you used to talk about your job with excitement? Now when someone asks, “How’s work?” you say: “Yeah… it’s fine.” 

Translation usually indicates that things are not fine. Silence is often a sign you have emotionally checked out and are actively disengaged, a big indicator that you may need to move on  

7. You Don’t Feel Like You Have Room for Growth 

Sometimes having a toxic relationship with your job is as simple as staying in a role or organisation where you don’t have room for growth or progression anymore, especially if it was promised when you first started. Constantly chasing career development but never being granted it leads to frustration and stagnation. 

So… What Now? 

If this article felt relatable, take it as your sign. Not every tough day means your job and work environment is bad, but persistent stress and burnout are not things you should have to tolerate indefinitely. 

Ready for a Healthier Relationship with Your Career? 

At Obtain, we help professionals step out of career survival mode and into something more sustainable. 

From career clarity and direction, personal branding and confidence to ask for more (pay, flexibility, progression). Our practical guides and coaching resources are designed to help you reset, realign, and move forward. 

Because your career shouldn’t drain you or make you dread Sunday nights. 

This Valentine’s Day, choose yourself!